Day 3- Good Day - Bad Day- Fking Crap Day.

Well i guess i should start at the beggining,
I woke up this morning haven overslept by about 30mins not too much of a problem, felt cold and mouth not good.Got dressed thankfully i had ironed a shirt last night, oicked up a tetra and a shake for ay work and off i went.About half way to work (15 mins walk about 800 steps) i realised i had left both my work mobile and my own personal mobile at home. in mind i thought about going and getting them but convinced myself that i wouldnt need either (how wrong i was).
Now some background as a Train Guard my job is what they call Safty Critaical along with Airline Pilots, Train Drivers etc.If I make a mistake someome could potentially be seriously hurt or killed.
Well today i had a saftey related incident at work, entirly my fault, luckily no one was every put in a position of danger what so ever, However as a saftey incident i have to report it (grass myself up), of course no phone to ring anyone........Fortuantley another guard was on the train so i was able to use his phone, As a result of this have been med screened (alcohol and drugs, Breathaliser and pee in a bottle) .
Untill the results come in im not allowed to work any trains and there will be an internal investigation, and possibly disoplinary action to follow.
How am i feeling well not good since i got up this morning everytime i have had to have a pee its hurt, i feel bloated and fat, worried about work, and disgusted with myself.
I gave in to food...........
To be precise i cave in to two Jumbo sausages from the chippy on the way home.
Im going to admit on here that im sat in tears as i type this, ifeel tottaly ashamed of myself and i feel i have not only let myself down but i have let down my friends on here as well.

This Is MY Low Point

Me.
__________________