Well its been a busy few days so havnt really had time to catch up on here whats been going on in my world, so this will be a bit of a catch up.
Im glad to say the whole incident at work is over and done with and im allowed to work trains again, i must admit still feel physically sick when i think about what happned and what could have been, i keep telling myself that it didnt happen so i shouldnt think about, however if it stops me making a mistake in th efuture then its worth thinking about.
The Urinary infection i had has cleared up and i have finished the antibiotics, and am now already to restart Cambridge.
The plan was to restart CD today but when i checked how many packs i had i realised i was a few short for the rest of the month so today i have just had the two and eaten a meal, this now gives me enough packs to last untill pay day. I did weigh myself and my weight today was 17st 6oz so in the last week have only put on 2oz of the the weight i lost in the first few days.
So I shall be restarting CD proper tommorow.
So here is to tommorow and my CD restart.
Me.
Blue Moon Countdown
Thursday, 10 May 2007
Tuesday, 8 May 2007
08 May 2007 - Two Days Before Restart
Well its tuesday today i beleive and only another day and halfs tablets to go before i can resart CD.
Am very glad to say things in the waterworks dept are better, and on the work front they gave me back my train working license today, im on a 3 month action plan i.e. dont F**K up again.
Would like to say i have been good whilst i have had the week off Cambridge, but i havnt there has been a few chocolate bars, a peice of cake and crumpets to name a couple of my sins this week. So here i am 2 days to go before restart on Thursday, chicken and vegetables for tea tonight with soup ala Cambridge to start washed down with a litre of water.
Me.
Am very glad to say things in the waterworks dept are better, and on the work front they gave me back my train working license today, im on a 3 month action plan i.e. dont F**K up again.
Would like to say i have been good whilst i have had the week off Cambridge, but i havnt there has been a few chocolate bars, a peice of cake and crumpets to name a couple of my sins this week. So here i am 2 days to go before restart on Thursday, chicken and vegetables for tea tonight with soup ala Cambridge to start washed down with a litre of water.
Me.
Sunday, 6 May 2007
06 May 2007
Well i promised myself i wasnt going to get back on the scales untill restarting Cambridge but i did, pleased to say im still 17st 4lb and a few onces so havent put any weight back on.
Slowly starting to feel better in myself and it feels like the antibiotics are working, finish them on wednesday so restarting Cambridge on Thursday.
Im still feeling a bit down about the whole work front, yesterday i spent 8 hours sat on my bum, luckily im off for two days and on tuesday things should be resolved.
Well the house work is calling and the cats want to be fed.
Thanks for reading.
Slowly starting to feel better in myself and it feels like the antibiotics are working, finish them on wednesday so restarting Cambridge on Thursday.
Im still feeling a bit down about the whole work front, yesterday i spent 8 hours sat on my bum, luckily im off for two days and on tuesday things should be resolved.
Well the house work is calling and the cats want to be fed.
Thanks for reading.
Friday, 4 May 2007
04 May 2007
Well its been a day since i stopped the diet properly, I took a shake to work with me and the plan is to have another later on and just some sort of sensible food later.
I have worked out i have enough packs to have 2 a day whilst im on the medication and then back to normal a week today Friday 11th. Im still not overally happy with the situation but thats the way its got be, i weighed myself this morning and i'm already back to 17st 7lb and thats just one day. i said i wasnt going to get paranoid about my weight so im not going to get back on the scales untill i restart cambridge next friday, what goes on will come off.
Work was another day of sitting around although i did have to deliver a letter from Bournemouth - Guildford, The investgatory meeting i have to attend is going to be on Tuesday so hopefully i will be back working trains on Wednesday, have just got toommorow to sit around as off sunday and monday, and b typical weather forcast is rain, typical bank holiday weather.
Me.
I have worked out i have enough packs to have 2 a day whilst im on the medication and then back to normal a week today Friday 11th. Im still not overally happy with the situation but thats the way its got be, i weighed myself this morning and i'm already back to 17st 7lb and thats just one day. i said i wasnt going to get paranoid about my weight so im not going to get back on the scales untill i restart cambridge next friday, what goes on will come off.
Work was another day of sitting around although i did have to deliver a letter from Bournemouth - Guildford, The investgatory meeting i have to attend is going to be on Tuesday so hopefully i will be back working trains on Wednesday, have just got toommorow to sit around as off sunday and monday, and b typical weather forcast is rain, typical bank holiday weather.
Me.
Thursday, 3 May 2007
Day 5 - Gutted
Well the day started badly and hasnt got much better, a lot of pain when passing water, got to work then reported sick 2 mins after starting so walked home and went to see the doc, who has given me a course of antibiotics (Trimethoprim).
Have spoken to My CDC she has advised me to stop the diet whilst on the medication,
not that i didnt trust the info that i was given by my cdc but i did ring the CD help line and spoke to the medical adviser, she also advised stopping CD till i have finished the medication in order for my body to better equipped to fight the infection.
Up to today i have lost 7lb so feeling a bit gutted have now got to go shopping and buy some healthy food, preferably low cal.
I went shopping earlier, thanks to my cdc for giving me a refund on 1 weeks supplys, so i took a trip to Iceland to do some shopping, I must admit it was very hard while going round to try and find stuff thats low carb, food labeling is a nightmare, was tempted by the sausages and pizza but didnt get any
I managed to find some Birds eye healthy option nuke in the microwave meals brought some burgers that i will do on my george forman, chicken that i can steam or grill or turn into chicken tikka masala, on the naughty side i brought myself some crumpets and a bag of baking pots and a block of cheese, have recently found i like jacket spuds again with low fat spread and grated cheese yum although much better with ham and coleslaw as well.
Im still glugging the water better for me than coffee, and to be honest since cutting down a few weeks ago dont really like anymore.
Im still feeling a bit down, but im sure im doing the sensible thing by stopping CD, and its only for a week and i was only on day 5 , just hope i dont put the 7lb back on that i have lost since Sunday.
Me.
Have spoken to My CDC she has advised me to stop the diet whilst on the medication,
not that i didnt trust the info that i was given by my cdc but i did ring the CD help line and spoke to the medical adviser, she also advised stopping CD till i have finished the medication in order for my body to better equipped to fight the infection.
Up to today i have lost 7lb so feeling a bit gutted have now got to go shopping and buy some healthy food, preferably low cal.
I went shopping earlier, thanks to my cdc for giving me a refund on 1 weeks supplys, so i took a trip to Iceland to do some shopping, I must admit it was very hard while going round to try and find stuff thats low carb, food labeling is a nightmare, was tempted by the sausages and pizza but didnt get any
I managed to find some Birds eye healthy option nuke in the microwave meals brought some burgers that i will do on my george forman, chicken that i can steam or grill or turn into chicken tikka masala, on the naughty side i brought myself some crumpets and a bag of baking pots and a block of cheese, have recently found i like jacket spuds again with low fat spread and grated cheese yum although much better with ham and coleslaw as well.
Im still glugging the water better for me than coffee, and to be honest since cutting down a few weeks ago dont really like anymore.
Im still feeling a bit down, but im sure im doing the sensible thing by stopping CD, and its only for a week and i was only on day 5 , just hope i dont put the 7lb back on that i have lost since Sunday.
Me.
Wednesday, 2 May 2007
Day 4 - A Better Day Than Yesterday
Well today is day 4 on CD for me, I again felt as if i didnt sleep properly last night vaguly recall seeing the time as 5.36am (maybe beacause of yesterdays stress )and yet again felt cold.
Manged to get up in time for work and got to work on time forgot my sweetners.Had to sit in our mess room for about 7 hours aday which was quite a challenge watching people eating most of the time, i was good i stuck to my water and 2 of my shakes.Have been feeling cold today and have had a bit of a head ache. I havnt felt the need to go to the loo every 2 secs like yesterday and im gald to say passing water has been nowhere as uncomfortable as yesderday, so hopefully the water is flushing it out of my system.
I did get called over to see my manager at work today over yesterdays incident where i was reassured that no disaplinary action will be taken, but untill the enquiry and reports are completed i wont be able to work any trains so looks like lots of sitting about.
All in all a much better day
Me.
__________________
__________________
Tuesday, 1 May 2007
Day 3- Good Day - Bad Day- Fking Crap Day.
Well i guess i should start at the beggining,
I woke up this morning haven overslept by about 30mins not too much of a problem, felt cold and mouth not good.Got dressed thankfully i had ironed a shirt last night, oicked up a tetra and a shake for ay work and off i went.About half way to work (15 mins walk about 800 steps) i realised i had left both my work mobile and my own personal mobile at home. in mind i thought about going and getting them but convinced myself that i wouldnt need either (how wrong i was).
Now some background as a Train Guard my job is what they call Safty Critaical along with Airline Pilots, Train Drivers etc.If I make a mistake someome could potentially be seriously hurt or killed.
Well today i had a saftey related incident at work, entirly my fault, luckily no one was every put in a position of danger what so ever, However as a saftey incident i have to report it (grass myself up), of course no phone to ring anyone........Fortuantley another guard was on the train so i was able to use his phone, As a result of this have been med screened (alcohol and drugs, Breathaliser and pee in a bottle) .
Untill the results come in im not allowed to work any trains and there will be an internal investigation, and possibly disoplinary action to follow.
How am i feeling well not good since i got up this morning everytime i have had to have a pee its hurt, i feel bloated and fat, worried about work, and disgusted with myself.
I gave in to food...........
To be precise i cave in to two Jumbo sausages from the chippy on the way home.
Im going to admit on here that im sat in tears as i type this, ifeel tottaly ashamed of myself and i feel i have not only let myself down but i have let down my friends on here as well.
This Is MY Low Point
Me.
__________________
I woke up this morning haven overslept by about 30mins not too much of a problem, felt cold and mouth not good.Got dressed thankfully i had ironed a shirt last night, oicked up a tetra and a shake for ay work and off i went.About half way to work (15 mins walk about 800 steps) i realised i had left both my work mobile and my own personal mobile at home. in mind i thought about going and getting them but convinced myself that i wouldnt need either (how wrong i was).
Now some background as a Train Guard my job is what they call Safty Critaical along with Airline Pilots, Train Drivers etc.If I make a mistake someome could potentially be seriously hurt or killed.
Well today i had a saftey related incident at work, entirly my fault, luckily no one was every put in a position of danger what so ever, However as a saftey incident i have to report it (grass myself up), of course no phone to ring anyone........Fortuantley another guard was on the train so i was able to use his phone, As a result of this have been med screened (alcohol and drugs, Breathaliser and pee in a bottle) .
Untill the results come in im not allowed to work any trains and there will be an internal investigation, and possibly disoplinary action to follow.
How am i feeling well not good since i got up this morning everytime i have had to have a pee its hurt, i feel bloated and fat, worried about work, and disgusted with myself.
I gave in to food...........
To be precise i cave in to two Jumbo sausages from the chippy on the way home.
Im going to admit on here that im sat in tears as i type this, ifeel tottaly ashamed of myself and i feel i have not only let myself down but i have let down my friends on here as well.
This Is MY Low Point
Me.
__________________
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